Category: Signs

Teenage Psychopaths

12/29/2015

Psychopaths don't look dangerous. They blend in so they can take advantage of people's ignorance. Photo of extreme tattoos and piercings.

Psychopaths don't look dangerous. They blend in so they can take advantage of your ignorance.

As a parent of two teenage adopted sociopaths and one neurotypical toddler, I will officially say...I really really wish people would quit saying "All kids are psychopaths/ sociopaths." Uh, no. No, they aren't. That is the difference between reading the symptoms and living with it in real life. No parent who has experienced both would ever say such a ridiculous, reductive thing.

Ever heard of CIPA (congenital insensitivity to pain)? As far as I can tell, sociopathy/psychopathy is the emotional version of this disorder, with huge social impacts. It sounds like a cool thing to have...no pain, ever? Awesome! Until you stop and really think about it. You learn from pain...huh, that hurt, you won't do that again. You don't overextend the limits of your body, pain makes you correct your course. Ow, you take your hand off the hot stove, you don't fry your hand right off. You feel when there is something terribly wrong, ugh, you're nauseous and have a fever, and you do something about it. These people tend to have shortened life spans of a result of CIPA, and can die from something as simple as overheating, because they never know to get out of the heat.

Now imagine a lack of emotional pain/feeling and how difficult that would make it for you to navigate human relationships. If you have never experienced certain emotions, how can you have empathy/know how someone else is feeling? I would have to think the world would look like an irrational, confusing place. I believe we have emotional pain to correct ourselves, have empathy, and understand each other, which is rather important with billions of us really needing to get along and not have the world turn into Thunderdome.

Sociopathic children do not have normal boundaries, whether because they aren't picking up on social cues or refuse to pick them up because they don't care. ~ If they are enjoying you, they should just move in with you, because why should that end while they are enjoying themselves? They don't experience shame by being mocked by peers, so behaviors like wetting themselves goes uncorrected. They instead discover that it is a nifty way to really piss people that they don't like off.

A neurotypical child will generally feel and display genuine affection. A sociopathic child will find you acceptable and display certain behaviors that keep you happy, which is of general benefit to them and more pleasant for them to be around. Even with your head buried firmly in the sand, it becomes difficult not to feel manipulated, that there is a calculus to their interactions with you. An honest family that is asked if the child loves them will say "I don't know."

As for the initial question, there was a real potential for violence, particularly in my son. He had violent fantasies, and as he grew physically he began to act more on his impulses. He tried to choke one family member during an argument, beat a smaller child on the bus, and held his sister against a wall and showed her how he wanted to carve her arms up with a kitchen knife. I was never on the receiving end, but that had more to do with me than him. I am relatively tall, reasonably strong, have a strong personality and had never been particularly susceptible even to emotional and mental manipulation (so to children I would have always seem somewhat larger than life). He and I both knew he was never going to be able to get fear or rage from me, and I would have no problem getting his ass hauled off by the cops, so in no way would he get what he wanted out of violence toward me. From day to day living, I had enough instinct to know that if I displayed weakness in any capacity it would be exploited, so I couldn't, which was tiring, tense and unnatural to me. A limping gazelle wouldn't have survived in my house.
They lie. No, not in a "no, Mommy, I didn't break that vase" kind of way that is normal. In a chameleon kind of way. Daughter wails to one person how awful and despicable physical violence is, two hours after bragging to someone else about going to school and kicking someone's ass, wanted to hurt them. "Impressing" people with a nonexistent history of disgusting sexual acts, pregnancies that never happened, children that don't exist. He loves cheeseburgers, tomorrow he hates them with another person. You begin to wonder if there is a real solid person in there, or is there just a bunch of constantly shifting tides.
They do not "learn from their mistakes." They will do the same destructive or disruptive things year after year, because for some reason they get their rocks off doing them.
There is no amount of parental creativity or Dr Phil "finding their currency" that is going to move the needle in behavior.
They will do what they want when they want, because they one-track-mind want it, and everything else is usually irrelevant. Negative or positive reinforcement will rarely influence anything, especially not over time.
Attempts to teach a sociopathic child concern for others is a losing proposition. You will do it anyway, because you want to at least have those ideas out there and available, and to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and know that you tried. But any attempt to explain to the child why it is wrong to steal free lunches provided for poor children at the YMCA or steal donated supplies from the guidance counselor's office will be met with a blank look. Who cares if someone else will starve? They wanted it, and they were proud of themselves for getting away with it.
I usually felt like a shoulder angel (walking, talking external conscience). They knew right from wrong, but only behaved with manners/not stealing/not hitting, etc. if I was there. I was left feeling that I had to be hyper-vigilant and present all the time, or something bad would happen. This was utterly exhausting.
Parental blame: people will look at your children, who they know are "not right," then at you, and decide you did it to them. Most people generally believe that children are cute, blank little slates and are a product of their environment. I used to believe that too, until it was sociopath-ed out of me. Their behavior is generally the opposite of everything I have desperately tried to instill in them. I ended up feeling judged and humiliated and isolated by society, and the kids couldn't care less.
It can destroy relationships between you and other family members/friends. Attempts to tell others what was going on (hey, at times I would have liked some support or empathy) was interpreted as a mother badmouthing her kids, that I blew things out of proportion, that I was too controlling, I ended up sounding like the crazy one. I was told that I didn't love my children. Doesn't lead to warm fuzzies all the way around.

Eventually it will all catch up with you. They will become old enough or sophisticated enough that you can't keep them out of trouble anymore. And you are left wondering why you tried for so hard for so long, when this is who they are, and always were.

Excerpt from Answer on @Quora by Anonymous to What is like to have psychopath children?

Photo courtesy of The Telegraph

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What Do You Do If You Meet a Psychopath?

8/27/2015

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Join us as we explore what to do if you meet a psychopath with Dr. Kent Kiehl. Dr. Kiehl is an author and neuroscientist who specializes in the use of clinical brain imaging techniques to understand major mental illnesses, with special focus on criminal psychopathy, psychotic disorders (i.e., schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, affective disorders), traumatic brain injury, substance abuse and paraphilias.

Also, he has designed the one-of-a-kind Mind Mobile MRI System to conduct research and treatment studies with forensic populations. To date his laboratory has deployed the Mind Mobile MRI System to collect brain imaging data from over 3000 offenders at eight different facilities in two states. This represents the world’s largest forensic neuroscience repository.

Source: TherapyCable.com

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How do Psychopaths Construct their Mask of Sanity?

8/4/2015

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The first very influential book about psychopathy was Hervey Cleckley’s groundbreaking The Mask of Sanity. Here Cleckley went over every major symptom of this dangerous personality disorder. What is most striking about psychopaths, as opposed to other disordered or deranged individuals, is how well they blend into the rest of society, to use, dupe and harm other human beings. Their glibness and charm, as well as their uncanny ability to lie convincingly, makes them the perfect wolves in sheep’s clothing. Cleckley observes, “More often than not, the typical psychopath will seem particularly agreeable and make a distinctly positive impression when he is first encountered. Alert and friendly in his attitude, he is easy to talk with and seems to have a good many genuine interests. There is nothing at all odd or queer about him, and in every respect he tends to embody the concept of a well-adjusted, happy person. Nor does he, on the other hand, seem to be artificially exerting himself like one who is covering up or who wants to sell you a bill of goods. He would seldom be confused with the professional backslapper or someone who is trying to ingratiate himself for a concealed purpose. Signs of affectation or excessive affability are not characteristic. He looks like the real thing.” (The Mask of Sanity, 339)

Because they appear to be easy-going, friendly and genuine, psychopaths attract many potential partners. They tend to be great conversationalists, orienting the subjects of discussion around each of their targets’ personal interests. Scott Peterson, Mark Hacking and Neil Entwistle seemed true gentlemen and fun-loving guys not only to their wives, but also to their in-laws and friends. Generally speaking, they behaved appropriately for the circumstances before committing their gruesome crimes. They knew how to open the car door for their partners, how to engage in polite conversation with their in-laws and how to joke around with their buddies.

Not only do psychopaths tend to be extraordinarily charismatic, but also they can appear to be rational, levelheaded individuals. They usually talk in a way that shows common sense and good judgment. “Very often indications of good sense and sound reasoning will emerge and one is likely to feel soon after meeting him that this normal and pleasant person is also one with high abilities,” Cleckley continues. (338)

Psychopaths generally present themselves as responsible men. They seem to be in charge of their lives, their families and their careers. As we’ve seen, for several years Mark Hacking led his wife and her family to believe that he was a college graduate on his way to medical school. Only members of his own family knew (and hid) the truth. Similarly, Neil Entwistle convinced his entire family that he was a successful computer entrepreneur. In actuality, he was a bankrupt spammer. He also led Rachel to believe that he was a faithful, loving husband while actively seeking promiscuous liaisons on adult dating websites.

Although most psychopaths fail at their endeavors, it’s usually not due to a lack of natural intelligence. Cleckley notes, “Psychometric tests also very frequently show him of superior intelligence. More than the average person, he is likely to seem free from social or emotional impediments, from the minor distortions, peculiarities, and awkwardness so common even among the successful.” (338) Psychopaths succeed in fooling others not just because of what they say, but also because of how they say it. Their demeanor tends to be self-assured, cool, smooth and collected. Even though, at core, they’re more disturbed than individuals diagnosed with severe mental illnesses–such as psychotics or schizophrenics–their personality disorder doesn’t show through.

The fact that psychopathy tends to be well concealed beneath a veneer of normalcy makes it all the more dangerous to others: “Although the psychopath’s inner emotional deviations and deficiencies may be comparable with the inner status of the masked schizophrenic,” Cleckley goes on, “he outwardly shows nothing brittle or strange. Everything about him is likely to suggest desirable and superior human qualities, a robust mental health.” (339)

Absence of Delusions and Other Signs of Irrational Thinking

Despite being capable of actions that we’d associate with insanity—such as killing their family members in cold-blood, then going out to party afterwards—psychopaths are in fact clinically sane. But what does it actually mean to be “sane,” in light of such severely disturbed behavior? It simply means being in touch with reality and aware of the legal, social and moral rules that govern one’s society. Sanity doesn’t imply processing this information normally or behaving normally. Cleckley elaborates,
“The psychopath is ordinarily free from signs or symptoms traditionally regarded as evidence of a psychosis. He does not hear voices. Genuine delusions cannot be demonstrated. There is no valid depression, consistent pathologic elevation of mood, or irresistible pressure of activity. Outer perceptual reality is accurately recognized; social values and generally accredited personal standards are accepted verbally. Excellent logical reasoning is maintained and, in theory, the patient can foresee the consequences of injudicious or antisocial acts, outline acceptable or admirable plans of life, and ably criticize in words his former mistakes.” (339)

The psychopath constructs his mask of sanity by imitating the rest of us. He mimics our emotions. He pays lip service to our moral principles. He pretends to respect us and our goals in life. The only difference between him and normal human beings is that he doesn’t actually feel or believe any of this on a deeper level. His simulation of normalcy functions as a disguise that enables him to fool others and satisfy his deviant drives. However, because of the psychopath’s extraordinary charm and poise, those perverse needs aren’t likely to be obvious to others.

For as long as a psychopath can hide his true nature, his real desires as well as the seedier aspects of his behavior, he appears to be the very picture of sanity: an upstanding citizen, a loyal friend, a loving husband and father. “Not only is the psychopath rational and his thinking free of delusions,” Cleckley pursues, “but he also appears to react with normal emotions. His ambitions are discussed with what appears to be healthy enthusiasm. His convictions impress even the skeptical observer as firm and binding. He seems to respond with adequate feelings to another’s interest in him and, as he discusses his wife, his children, or his parents, he is likely to be judged a man of warm human responses, capable of full devotion and loyalty.” (339)

Absence of Nervousness or Psychoneurotic Manifestations

Psychopaths display an almost reptilian tranquility. Their paradoxical combination of calmness and thrill-seeking behavior may render them, at least initially, more intriguing than normal individuals. A psychopath can appear to be the rock of your life, promising a solid foundation for a lasting relationship. Cleckley observes, “It is highly typical for him not only to escape the abnormal anxiety and tension fundamentally characteristic of this whole diagnostic group but also to show a relative immunity from such anxiety and worry as might be judged normal or appropriate in disturbing situations.” (340) While their general aura of coolness and calmness can be reassuring, psychopaths tend to be too calm in the wrong circumstances. Upon closer observation, their mask of sanity includes fissures, or attitudes and elements of behavior that don’t conform to their normal external image.

For instance, they may laugh when (and even because) others cry. They may remain too serene in traumatic circumstances. Or they may appear theatrical and disingenuous in their displays of emotion, as Neil Entwistle did in court. In those moments when they behave inappropriately, psychopaths reveal their underlying abnormality. This shows through not only before they commit some crime but also afterwards, in their lack of genuine remorse, regret or sadness.

Neurotics feel excessive anxiety. By way of contrast, psychopaths feel too little anxiety. When they experience regret or pain, it’s for getting caught or for being momentarily inconvenienced, not for having hurt others. When they get frustrated, it’s for not getting their way or out of boredom, not because they’re troubled by what they did wrong. As Cleckley puts it, “Even under concrete circumstances that would for the ordinary person cause embarrassment, confusion, acute insecurity, or visible agitation, his relative serenity is likely to be noteworthy… What tension or uneasiness of this sort he may show seems provoked entirely by external circumstances, never by feelings of guilt, remorse, or intrapersonal insecurity. Within himself he appears almost as incapable of anxiety as of profound remorse.” (340) Empathy, fear of punishment, anxiety and remorse represent the main forces that prevent normal people from engaging in dangerous and harmful behavior. Psychopaths lack such restraints. No matter how good their disguise, dangerous and harmful behavior is all they enjoy and desire to pursue in life.

Source: How do Psychopaths Construct their Mask of Sanity? on psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com

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11 Signs That Your Boss is a Psychopath

6/10/2015

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The Boss Needs You, You Don't Need the Boss Picture

Just as the common cold may be defined by any number of symptoms -- runny nose, sore throat, tickly cough, headache, lack of energy, temperature etc. -- so psychopathy is characterized by a variety of different personality traits. But these traits -- ruthlessness, fearlessness, charm, persuasiveness, egocentricity, impulsivity, and the absence of conscience and empathy -- need not all be present to the same degree for a diagnosis to be made. Just as no one cold is ever identical to another and may vary according to the presence, severity, and duration of the symptoms, so there is no such thing as the definitive textbook psychopath.

Profiles may fluctuate across the various composite traits -- indeed, there's evidence to suggest that it's relatively low levels of impulsivity, for instance, which separate out so-called functional from criminal psychopaths.

Here are a eleven tells for which any serious psychopath-spotter should be aware in the workplace:

1. Emotional powerplay
Psychopaths are social chameleons and can change their psychological spots in the blink of an eye if they think they can benefit from doing so. Playing on sympathy is a favourite weapon of choice.

Make no mistake: psychopaths are confident, outgoing and mentally resilient, hardly ever, in reality, feeling sorry for themselves. But they are also master manipulators and have no qualms whatsoever about tugging on our emotional heartstrings if it works to their advantage.

Sympathy is a powerful motivator – a fact not lost on psychopaths even though they never feel it – and they are extremely adept at eliciting pity and compassion.

WARNING LIGHT: Consistently poor behaviour with frequent appeals to mitigating circumstances and pleas for support and understanding is one of the psychopath’s most recognizable kitemarks – in both the corporate realm and that of everyday life.

2. Control freak
Psychopaths are emotional chess players and a psychopathic boss sees his employees merely as pieces on an invisible psychological chessboard: disposable, dispensable, superfluous.

Psychopaths love to pick people up, move people round, make people jump just for the sake of it - even if, sometimes, it’s not to their immediate benefit. Unnecessary rearrangements of workspace, the sudden imposition of unsocial working hours, and the promise of favours for dishing the dirt on colleagues are just a few psychopathic favourites.

WARNING LIGHT: If you’re left scratching your head on yet another occasion as you try to figure out the rationale for your boss’s behaviour – then the answer might be simpler than you think.

3. Charming
Psychopaths are past masters at making scintillating first impressions and possess an innate gift for making you feel as if you’re the only person in the room.

They are brilliant psychologists. They know that, through evolution, our brains are programmed to put a lot of store in initial encounters and so they bank substantial emotional ‘capital’ early in a new relationship by turning on the charm.

One psychopath I interviewed put it like this: “Charm is the ability to roll out a red carpet for those you cannot stand in order to fast-track them, as smoothly and efficiently as possible, in the direction you want them to go.”

WARNING LIGHT: If you suddenly find that the red carpet is rolled up and that the charm fades quickly during subsequent meetings with your boss leaving you feeling confused and vulnerable, you may well have a psychopath on your hands.

4. Parasitical
Irrespective of whether they play the charm, manipulation or sympathy cards, psychopaths are corporate vampires and are second to none in their ability to take you into their confidence and suck out valuable new ideas that may have been months in the planning.

A typical ploy is the use of reciprocity – a powerful tool of influence. A psychopath might open the bidding and ‘confide’ in you some low-level idea of his own in order that you follow suit with something better. Once in the psychopath’s possession however, the idea is then ‘confiscated’ and, somewhere down the line, suddenly becomes ‘theirs.’

WARNING LIGHT: If your boss has a habit of taking the credit for work done by others, it might be time to look for work elsewhere.

5. Deceitful
Psychopaths simply do not live by the same moral code as the rest of us, and experience little guilt or anxiety over telling lies – either to big themselves up, or to dump on others, or both.

In fact, it’s their consummate lack of remorse for misrepresenting the facts that is the single biggest contributor to their inordinate capacity for fabrication. They appear plausible and reasonable and their webs of deceit frequently contain a modicum of truth which they rely on as a safety net should their spurious cover stories come under too close a scrutiny.

WARNING LIGHT: If your relationship with your boss has been plagued by ‘misunderstandings’ and ‘false assumptions’ it might be time to face the real truth.

6. Narcissistic
Psychopaths are completely driven by their own hard-nosed self-interest. Though they may feign concern for others, appearing warm, considerate and even helpful, such interest is shallow and superficial and merely serves as the foreplay for future exploitation. For psychopath, read “ps-I-chopath.”

Psychopathic relationship patterns - in both personal and corporate settings - are stormy and transient. “Friendships” are often terminated without warning, and ties mercilessly severed once an individual ceases to “be of any use.”

Add to this an arrogant, grandiose and egocentric interpersonal style and you have on your hands a ruthless ambition machine with no “off “switch.

WARNING LIGHT: If your boss has been known to fire people for no apparent reason, or has an ostentatious and extravagant profile out of keeping with a more objective assessment of their standing, or has a habit of stealing the limelight…it’s time to leave them to it.

7. Non-stick
Psychopaths make expert defence attorneys and are supremely skilled at getting themselves off the hook should accusations of incompetence be leveled at them.

Not only do they never accept culpability, but they are also extremely adept at manufacturing evidence that lays the blame for their misdemeanours firmly at someone else’s door.

Psychopathic bosses have no qualms whatsoever in using their employees as ‘reputation shields’ to safeguard their own status within the company.

WARNING LIGHT: If your boss has landed you in it through no fault of your own, start asking questions.

8. Oscar nominated
The brain of the psychopath is wired up in a different way to the rest of ours.

In particular, the part of the brain responsible for emotion – the amygdala – is turned down, meaning that psychopaths do not experience the everyday feelings of fear, regret and disgust so familiar to normal folk.

But that doesn’t stop the psychopath acting scared, sorry or surprised in order to manipulate others. They are perfectly adept at putting on shows of emotion if it helps them get ahead.

A common example is extreme anger in response to a perceived personal insult, an alleged betrayal of trust, or the insufficient demonstration of respect for their authority. But such emotional pyrotechnics are purely for shock-and-awe purposes - coolly calculated psychological bombing raids aimed at minimizing the chances of any future “transgressions.”

WARNING LIGHT: If your boss is prone to extreme displays of emotion then quickly returns to normal as if nothing has happened, you should start to question whether he really feels anything at all.

9. Non risk-averse
Imagine someone who has a warped perception of speed: someone who, through some weird trick of nature, perceives things happening at a much slower rate than they actually do.

You wouldn’t want to get in a car with them, would you? Well, it’s exactly the same with psychopaths – except for speed, read danger.

The neural power-cut in the fear zip code of psychopaths’ brains means that things that would scare the hell out of the rest of us just don’t have the same impact on these ice-cool emotional androids.

This, of course, gives psychopaths their enviable sang-froid, their composure under fire – and explains why they often do quite well for themselves in high-wire professions such as the media, finance and certain echelon areas of the military.

But it can, at times, also lead to unnecessary risk-taking – and, to return to the speed analogy, can often result in the car veering out of control and crashing off the road as opposed to a speedier journey time (as if we need any reminding with the global financial crisis.)

WARNING LIGHT: Risky investments, unwise alliances, inappropriate behaviour, risqué comments… if this sounds like your boss you may want to look for another one.

10. Power-hungry
Psychopaths are attracted to positions of influence in which they can satisfy their need to control and manipulate others.

Last year, I launched the Great British Psychopath Survey. The survey is unique: the first of its kind to assess the prevalence of psychopathic traits within an entire national workforce. What would turn out to be the UK’s most psychopathic profession? I wondered.

The results made interesting reading. CEOs, media folk, lawyers, surgeons, police officers, the clergy…any line of work which boasts a definitive hierarchical infrastructure and affords a position of power over others which may be wielded with relative impunity is ideally suited to the psychopathic personality.

WARNING LIGHT: If your boss has a tendency to step on those beneath him but goes out of his way to impress those above him, it’s time to move sideways…to another department or company.

11. X Factor
Hollywood movies typically portray the psychopath as an intense, menacing figure who makes the hairs on the back of one’s neck stand on end – and there’s evidence to suggest this is true.

Psychopaths often do give out a certain ‘aura’ and folk sometimes report experiencing unnerving physical sensations in their presence such as “he sends a chill up my spine” and “he makes my skin crawl.”

WARNING LIGHT: If you sometimes feel uneasy around your boss, and are uncomfortable being on your own with him for any length of time, trust your gut instinct: GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!

Excerpt from 11 Ways To Tell If Your Boss Is A Psychopath by Prof. Kevin Dutton

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how to detect a psychopath as easily as we see who is drug impaired. .

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ABOUT ME:

I was married to Harlan Taylor, who meets the psychopath criteria. Beware his illusion of nice guy. Now, I'm spreading awareness of neuroscience fMRI testing to identify psychopaths - those without a conscience. They are incapable of basic truth, and live by their own rules.

Trying to ascertain if someone is a psychopath should not depend on a list of behaviors.
(Contrary to hollywood's fascination with the violent ones, the majority of psychopaths do not exhibit physical violence.)

Too many people are silently being emotionally destroyed because they awaken to the narcissistic abuse, and then utilize the psychopath test *after* the damage is done.. To help stop further victimization, fill out the form to Name Your Abuser.

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Teenage Psychopaths

What Do You Do If You Meet a Psychopath?

How do Psychopaths Construct their Mask of Sanity?

11 Signs That Your Boss is a Psychopath

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