June 11, 2011
(Although we were separated for a few years already, harlan would "happily" pick me up from the airport when I came to town to visit our son 'M', age 13.) When I got in the car, first harlan told me that ATT wanted him to teach over there, through word from his friend Mario. I asked him who he talked to, and he said "somebody at the top". I asked who, and he said "Dan". Of course I need to verify this crap.
The next load of bull he handed me was that "one of his neighbors" said that she saw 'M' holding hands with a girl. It made me laugh at the cuteness. (Later, I deduced that putting cute visions in my head was the point of his telling me some lies - emotional manipulation. He's always telling cute stories that are half-truths. All that cute stuff makes you trust him, doesn't it?)
Upon arriving, the first chance I got, I told my son 'M' about what his dad told me. 'M' said that he was not holding hands. 'M' then went to his dad and asked, "Which neighbor?", and harlan said, "You know...," and 'M' said, "Lee?", and harlan said "Yeah". By this point, I already knew the truth, but, I had to do my investigation. (That liar harlan has no limits and lies about his own son. He's also pre-built the cover story that the neighbor is looney.)
When harlan took the kids over to the swimming pool, Lee stopped by, so (of course) I asked her if she told harlan that she saw my son holding hands? She got upset, saying, "I knew he was going to twist that! I didn't tell him that! I told him that 'M's friend was holding hands." She also said that harlan was odd, and also, she witnesses that he gives a lot of attention to the baby, but none to 'M'.
Harlan came back from the pool. When we were alone, he said gruffly, "Let me ask you something. Did you have to ask the neighbor about what I told you? She's almost crying and she said I can't let my kids go over to her house anymore." I was caught off guard by his attacking me -for basically catching him in a lie. He further stated that I shouldn't talk to our son about the hand-holding. I told him that he shouldn't have lied. He kept insisting that Lee really told him that story, but "she's crazy"...
When 'M' came downstairs, I asked him, "Did you hear what your dad said? He said I shouldn't have asked you about holding hands." harlan said, "Yeah, it's private." So, of course poor brainwashed 'M' agrees, and repeats the manipulator, "Yeah, it's private". I asked 'M', "So you're supposedly holding hands in public, how is that private?" Silence.
harlan starts to go off the deep end and says that the two of us shouldn't communicate anymore because - I'm going to be checking on whether what he says is true! (You got that right!)
Then harlan changed his story and started complaining that it was all just a misunderstanding. After the conversation was over, I started bawling. 'M' hugged me tight. I told my son sorry over and over. (Taking responsibility for the big blowout he witnessed because it's a lose-lose situation.) I had thought he could finally see his dad for the liar that he is, but 'M' is still blind. He believes his dad's version of events. (So, we are rather to believe that if the neighbor ever tells lies about our son, then harlan won't give a shit?)
That was Sunday. It's now Thursday, and I am getting madder about it by the minute. harlan never apologized. Will he? Should I ask him to, or just drop it? How far do I want to push this? I so desperately want 'M' to know about his dad's pathology, but at the same time, I want him to remain as oblivious as I used to be. I actually was happy, back when what I didn't know didn't hurt me. oi.
I guess I will let 'M' stay in his dream world a little longer? harlan may have to break my son's heart to open his eyes. I just don't want 'M' being depressed and not knowing the reason. His dad says he loves him, but acts like he doesn't. It's so apparent to me that the subtle contradictions are affecting 'M's sense of well being, but he's unable to clearly identify what is going on.
(I am powerless to alert my son to the truth. Nothing I say to him sinks in... The mask is always on for the other sheep, and those coddled sheep don't want to hear negativity about that "great guy".)
Oh, later on, Dan (ATT) told me to tell harlan that he's a liar. I said, "It's useless. It's been the same old story for ages." I have a bad feeling that one day soon, harlan is going to lie on the wrong person and get into really big trouble. I would say good for him, but, I know that my son would be harmed in the crossfire. harlan is getting sloppy in his old age, and his lies are not going over like they used to.
I don't just take him at his word anymore like every-freakin-body else... buying that innocent, earnest look about him. All he ever does is cause me pain. Argh, I want to wring his neck. Vengeance!
The next load of bull he handed me was that "one of his neighbors" said that she saw 'M' holding hands with a girl. It made me laugh at the cuteness. (Later, I deduced that putting cute visions in my head was the point of his telling me some lies - emotional manipulation. He's always telling cute stories that are half-truths. All that cute stuff makes you trust him, doesn't it?)
Upon arriving, the first chance I got, I told my son 'M' about what his dad told me. 'M' said that he was not holding hands. 'M' then went to his dad and asked, "Which neighbor?", and harlan said, "You know...," and 'M' said, "Lee?", and harlan said "Yeah". By this point, I already knew the truth, but, I had to do my investigation. (That liar harlan has no limits and lies about his own son. He's also pre-built the cover story that the neighbor is looney.)
When harlan took the kids over to the swimming pool, Lee stopped by, so (of course) I asked her if she told harlan that she saw my son holding hands? She got upset, saying, "I knew he was going to twist that! I didn't tell him that! I told him that 'M's friend was holding hands." She also said that harlan was odd, and also, she witnesses that he gives a lot of attention to the baby, but none to 'M'.
Harlan came back from the pool. When we were alone, he said gruffly, "Let me ask you something. Did you have to ask the neighbor about what I told you? She's almost crying and she said I can't let my kids go over to her house anymore." I was caught off guard by his attacking me -for basically catching him in a lie. He further stated that I shouldn't talk to our son about the hand-holding. I told him that he shouldn't have lied. He kept insisting that Lee really told him that story, but "she's crazy"...
When 'M' came downstairs, I asked him, "Did you hear what your dad said? He said I shouldn't have asked you about holding hands." harlan said, "Yeah, it's private." So, of course poor brainwashed 'M' agrees, and repeats the manipulator, "Yeah, it's private". I asked 'M', "So you're supposedly holding hands in public, how is that private?" Silence.
harlan starts to go off the deep end and says that the two of us shouldn't communicate anymore because - I'm going to be checking on whether what he says is true! (You got that right!)
Then harlan changed his story and started complaining that it was all just a misunderstanding. After the conversation was over, I started bawling. 'M' hugged me tight. I told my son sorry over and over. (Taking responsibility for the big blowout he witnessed because it's a lose-lose situation.) I had thought he could finally see his dad for the liar that he is, but 'M' is still blind. He believes his dad's version of events. (So, we are rather to believe that if the neighbor ever tells lies about our son, then harlan won't give a shit?)
That was Sunday. It's now Thursday, and I am getting madder about it by the minute. harlan never apologized. Will he? Should I ask him to, or just drop it? How far do I want to push this? I so desperately want 'M' to know about his dad's pathology, but at the same time, I want him to remain as oblivious as I used to be. I actually was happy, back when what I didn't know didn't hurt me. oi.
I guess I will let 'M' stay in his dream world a little longer? harlan may have to break my son's heart to open his eyes. I just don't want 'M' being depressed and not knowing the reason. His dad says he loves him, but acts like he doesn't. It's so apparent to me that the subtle contradictions are affecting 'M's sense of well being, but he's unable to clearly identify what is going on.
(I am powerless to alert my son to the truth. Nothing I say to him sinks in... The mask is always on for the other sheep, and those coddled sheep don't want to hear negativity about that "great guy".)
Oh, later on, Dan (ATT) told me to tell harlan that he's a liar. I said, "It's useless. It's been the same old story for ages." I have a bad feeling that one day soon, harlan is going to lie on the wrong person and get into really big trouble. I would say good for him, but, I know that my son would be harmed in the crossfire. harlan is getting sloppy in his old age, and his lies are not going over like they used to.
I don't just take him at his word anymore like every-freakin-body else... buying that innocent, earnest look about him. All he ever does is cause me pain. Argh, I want to wring his neck. Vengeance!
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